oiled.

Over this last week and this past weekend, my life has felt like it was in overdrive and I was running a thousand miles per hour.

After changing our topic of our television documentary (long story, will explain later) and having someone steal my phone on Monday, it's been stressful to say the least. Mix that in with dancing for a group of people you don't know (and want to impress for auditions) and one is men ally and physically exhausted.

I keep telling myself that things could be so, so, so much worse. In the grand scheme, this is all cupcakes...none of my friends or family are sick, I don't have cancer or any bad illness, I have a roof over my head and food to eat.

Breathe Portia, just breathe.

The past 24 hours have been the most calm in relation to the rest of the week and really made me reflect on what I have and have experienced lately. Maybe when we have so much good in our lives, the hit of bad is really that much harder. However, we can't control everything.

I think I have finally learned how to let go and not let things get to me. I'm at a really happy place in my life where things are together and it's a well-oiled machine of routine and challenges. True, I didn't expect (or want) someone to steal my phone, but in the grand scheme, it's just a thing. I'm happy with the important stuff - being able to dance, work on an important journalism assignment, be with my girlfriends - those are the most valuable things to value above all.

After this nightcap I'm off to sweet dreams, this whirlwind weekend ended with my team and I hanging out at Canada's Wonderland shooting background footage for our documentary. Details and sneak peeks to come!

Happy Halloween and hope you get a chance to sport a costume tomorrow!

PS are you following McClung's Magazine on Twitter yet? (Psst we also have a new Facebook page...don't worry, I'm just doing my job!)

skulls.

"But the answer to how to live is to stop thinking about it. And just to live. But you're doing that anyway. However you intellectualise it, you still just live."-Damien Hirst

orange.

It's the most wonderful time of the year, Halloween! Enjoy dressing up and spending it with people you care about. It's always fun to challenge yourself to get out there and be creative - however, I am expecting lots of Lady Gaga's, William and Kate's and perhaps a Michael Jackson or two...

Hope you all have costumes and plans to celebrate hallow's eve! Take a risk and dress up as something crazy, it's the one time of year you can get away with it because guess what? We're all dressed up too.

Happy Halloween!

famous.

Almost Famous, 2000.

22.

Thank you, merci beaucoup and gracias to so many lovely friends and family that I have the priviledge to celebrate my birthday with! I would be nowhere without you ladies, and thank you so much for an amazing evening - you make me who I am, challenge my views, give me a should to cry on when need be...but also to support me on when things are going up.

I am not a rich women (in finances) but I'm rich in friendship.

Thank you for the plethora of birthday wishes and enjoy the sunshine today! xox

risks.

The death of a dance company is one of the worst things to hear about when you are a performer. It's discouraging to see how many young dancers you teach and who aspire to work professionally may not get the opportunity to because the financial structure, support and audience may not be there.

Last night, I learned that the company I was an apprentice to in high school, Moving Arts Dance, had its last performance a few weeks ago. I was, and still am, devestated.

This isn't the first dance company I've seen fold. I remember one page of the San Francisco Chronicle in 2006, telling the story about the Oakland Ballet dropping the curtain permanently. I couldn't even comprehend that this was possible, especially with a large company in Northern California.

To be honest, I haven't lost anyone extremely close to me, and have only experienced death through the life and buffer of someone else. This I'm thankful and very blessed for, and I know that losing a close relative or friend means suffering from unimaginable pain.

In some way through, that is how I feel about losing my company.

My artistic director worked for nearly 30 years teaching, choreographing and pushing the boundaries of modern dance. She took me under her wing, along with nine other ladies, and transformed the way we danced. Yes, it was hard to have a normal high school life; we trained nearly full-time outside of school and performed on weekends. It was an intense, mentally and physically challenging, and life-changing experience.

However, Moving Arts gave me so much.

Our company motto was,

"the only risk in life is not taking one"

- this has stuck with me

since day one.

When I come up against a wall, I remember how much harder it was to do some things physically from that time and work through it. When I doubt myself, I remember having to perform a seven minute solo to "music" that consisted of the sound of a chainsaw, doors slamming and glass breaking.

After that, I learned I could do anything.

I'm so sad that not more dancers will have the same opportunity I had to experience dance in such an organic and intimate environment, especially with how many commercial ventures there are today. However, the lessons, skills and drive that Moving Arts taught all its dancers will live on as we go into the next phase of our lives. True, it's been five years since I've been to the studio in California, but I still think about it everyday. As a choreographer, every time I start to create, I remember those lessons and skills I learned so long ago.

Perhaps it isn't that a dance company really dies, it just reincarnates into something new. Who would have thought I would be living in Toronto dancing and teaching all the B.C. Interior? Or that one of our dancers would make the top 20 of So You Think You Can Dance? Or another graduating with with a Bachelor of Fine Arts in modern dance this year? None of us saw that coming, so why should we doubt what's next?

So how do we make room for dance? I can only honestly say, that is to be determined.

As for now, all I can say is all the best to the dancers of Moving Arts and thank you so much for everything.

"Dance, dance...otherwise we are lost." - Pina Bausch

charlie.

I cannot wait to have my own dog to add to my family. This won't happen for a few years as I'm still in school/may be moving around, but I already have his name picked out. I'll know him when I see him.