moon.

This past month has been wild and wonderful.

At the beginning of Fall, I decided to focus my energy and time into my dance career and taking it to the next level. After a summer of training, resting and learning, I'm now finding how to cultivate my power and use it in the most effective way possible.

Since the Canadian Thanksgiving, I've had a dance gig, show or performance every weekend, and will continue to until mid-December.

But some days are better than others. I remember reading an article where prima ballerina (and my idol) Karen Kain said she would wake up some mornings and feel like her ankles were shattering because she was in pain.

This past week, I woke up every morning with a new type of pain. Hip, knee, back, neck...places I've never been hurt before suddenly ached. I almost backed out of a performance, which I DO NOT DO, thinking about my body.

During the full moon the other evening, I laid wide awake in bed. I was exhausted but couldn't find a way to calm my mind and get my much-needed sleep.

Then it hit me: I was waiting and scared to go to sleep because of what pain I would wake up with in the morning. I was stressing myself out over something that I had little control over and had not even happened yet.

I got up, donned my leopard robe and went outside into the black night outside my apartment (thank goodness for my little private backyard) and looked up at the moon.

I'm not spiritual, but I do believe in the feminine energy and personality of the moon. I feel a shift and a change during it's movement, and find myself watching her whenever I get the chance.

Then it clicked: I'm in control of it all. My body. My mind. My pain.

Everything that was making my brain run wild is an opportunity, a gift and a challenge. But it's my choice - I could back out if I wanted to. Right now. Forever.

But I don't want to. I'm here. I want to do this with my life.

I went inside and drifted into the deepest sleep I've had in weeks. I awoke with no pain.

This is my choice. My destiny. 

Let's do this. 

Thank you Moon.