ctv.

Three years ago this week, I would have laughed at myself if someone told me what I would be doing now.

I was lying onstage after falling from the best grand jete and saw my whole life flash before me. As someone carried me off, I thought my life was over.

After all the blood (literally, Ontario has dry weather and I get nosebleeds), sweat (being stuck in groups with indie kids at bars for shows) and the verge of tears (when something didn't go right once that I had spent forever working on) the payment of the perfect internship has finally come my way.

I thought I blew it. When she offered me the job, my first words were, "You've just made my dreams come true." Then I paused, wondering if I sounded like a complete child.

*Note, I was speaking to the producer of the national news network.

"You know," she said, "That's one of the first really genuine reactions I've gotten in a long time. You're really honest."

I'm the luckiest girl in the world.

Thank you to the support of so many of my friends and family for letting me pick their brains, read my stuff, edit, re-read, critique, laugh, cry and generally be the stars of my fan club.

Looking at myself in 2008, I can really see how much I've grown, worked and gotten better - mentally, physically and emotionally.

Another dancer said to me right before graduation that I would come back stronger than ever before, which felt unbelievable when I was walking around in crutches.

I made it. I made it.

murmur.

A Day Dream.

My eyes make pictures when they're shut:--
I see a fountain large and fair,
A Willow and a ruined Hut,
And thee, and me, and Mary there.
O Mary! make thy gentle lap our pillow!
Bend o'er us, like a bower, my beautiful green Willow!

A wild-rose roofs the ruined shed,
And that and summer well agree
And lo! where Mary leans her head,
Two dear names carved upon the tree!
And Mary's tears, they are not tears of sorrow:
Our sister and our friend will both be here to-morrow.

'Twas Day! But now few, large, and bright
The stars are round the crescent moon!
And now it is a dark warm Night,
The balmiest of the month of June!
A glow-worm fallen, and on the marge remounting
Shines, and its shadow shines, fit stars for our sweet fountain.

O ever -- ever be thou blest!
For dearly, Asra! love I thee!
This brooding warmth across my breast,
This depth of tranquil bliss -- ah me!
Fount, Tree, and Shed are gone, I know not whither,
But in one quiet room we three are still together.

The shadows dance upon the wall,
By the still dancing fire-flames made;
And now they slumber, moveless all!
And now they melt to one deep shade!
But not from me shall this mild darkness steal thee:
I dream thee with mine eyes, and at my heart I feel thee!

Thine eyelash on my cheek doth play--
'Tis Mary's hand upon my brow!
But let me check this tender lay,
Which none may hear but she and thou!
Like the still hive at quiet midnight humming,
Murmur it to yourselves, ye two beloved women!
- Samuel Taylor Coleridge.