winter.

"Sometimes you're 23 and standing in the kitchen of our house, making breakfast and brewing coffee, and listening to music that is really getting to your heart. 

You're just standing there, thinking about going to work and picking up your dry cleaning. 

And also more exciting things, like books you're reading and trips you plan on taking and relationships that are springing into existence. 

Or fading from your memory, which is far less exciting. 

And suddenly you just don't feel at home in your skin, or in your house, and you just want home, but "Mom's" probably won't feel like home anymore either. 

There used to be the comfort of a number in your phone and ears that listened everyday and arms that were never for anyone else. 

But just to clam you down when you started feeling trapped in a five-minute period when nostalgia is too much and thoughts of htier person you are feel foreign. 

When you realize that you'll never be this young again, but this is the first time you've ever been this old.

When you can't remember how you got from 16 to here, and all the same feel 16 is just as much of a strangers to you now. 

The song is over. The coffee's done. 

You're going to breathe in and out. 

You're going to be fine in about five minutes." 

- The Winter of Air 

16.

I stumbled on this list titled, Sixteen Small Steps to Happiness. With some big changes happening in my life, this could not have come at a better time.

I'm happy, healthy and so blessed to get to do what I love, however, we all have our down days.

This little list is already impacting the last few days I've had. Read, notes and (hopefully) find a couple to integrate into your life. 

1. Push yourself to get up before the rest of the world - start with 7AM, then 6AM, then 5:30AM. Go to the nearest hill with a big coat and scarf and watch the sun rise.

2. Push you to fall asleep earlier - start with 11PM, then 10PM, then 9PM. Wake up in the morning feeling re-energized and comfortable.

3. Erase processed food from your diet. Start with no lollies, chips, biscuits, then erase pasta rice, cereal, then bread. Use the that is a child couldn't identify what was in it, don't eat it.

4. Get in the habit of cooking yourself a beautiful breakfast. Fry tomatoes and mushrooms in real butter and garlic, fry an egg and slice up an avocado. Sit and eat it and do nothing else.

5. Stetch. Start by reaching for the sky as hard as you can, then trying to touch your toes. Roll your head. Stretch your fingers. Stretch everything.

6. Buy a one litre water bottle. Start with pushing yourself to drink the whole thing in a day. Then try drinking it twice.

7. Buy a beautiful diary and a beautiful black pen. Write down everything you do, including dinner dates, appointments, assignments, coffee, what you need to do that day. No detail is too small. 

8. Strip your bed of your sheets and empty your underwear drawer into the washing machine. Put a massive scoop of scented fabric softener in there and wash. Make your bed in full.

9. Organize your room. Fold all your clothes (and bag what you don't want). clean you mirror, laptop, vacuum the floor. Light a beautiful candle.

10. Have a luxurious shower with your favourite music playing. Wash your hair, scrub your body brush your teeth. Lather your whole body in moisturiser.

11. Push yourself to go for a walk. Take your headphones, go tot he beach and walk . Smaile at strangers walking the other way and be surprised how many smile back. Bring your dog and observe their behaviour. Realize you can learn from your dog.

12. Message old friends with personal jokes. Reminisce. Suggest a catch up soon, even if you don't follow through. Push yourself to follow through.

13. Think long and hard about what interests you. Crime? Sex? Boarding school?  Long-forgotten romance ettiquette? Find a book about it and read it. There is a book about literally everything.

14. Become the person you would ideally fall in love with. Let cars merge into your lane while driving. Pay double for parking tickets and leave the second one in the machine. Stick your tongue out at babies. Compliment people on their cute clothes. Challenge yourself not to ridicule anyone for a whole day. Then two. Then a week. Walk with perfect posture. Look people in the eye. Ask people about their story. Talk to acquaintances so they become friends.

15. Lie in the sunshine. Daydream about the life you would lead it failure wasn't a thing.

16. Open your eyes. Take small steps to make it happen.